I've been holding out on you

Arizona and retirement communities go hand-in-hand.  It's got mild winters and low humidity.  There are whole towns built for the over-55 crowd (I know, we stayed in one and it was pretty awesome).  You know what else that means??  Totally Awesome Garage Sales.  Old people have old stuff, and old stuff is great.

We stopped at one, and only one, garage sale while we were in Arizona and I scored, big time.  Yes folks, for a mere pittance, a miniscule $5, I am now the proud owner of a nearly mint condition red 1971 Betty Crocker recipe box.


Oh, the joy.  Now I can prepare such delights as "Cold meat morsels" (included in the 'Snacks around the clock' category, naturally) or "Green bean bunwiches" (which look like an inside-out sloppy joe with *gag* frozen green beans on top of the top bun).  If I served 'Chicken livers with scrambled eggs' at an impromptu party - do you think people would ever come back??  I mean really, nothing says *Party* like scrambled eggs and liver.  Even grosser (is that a word?) is the round steak, on the right below.  It looks horrible.  Whole zucchini? It may be the most unappetizing picture in the whole set (except for the fish sticks listed in the "Family Breakfast Brighteners" section).

I can coddle my husband with a whole section devoted to "Men's Favorites", starting with this winner "Man-pleasing appetizers", perhaps followed by "Potatoes - The way men love them". Or, my favorite, a whole dinner menu laid out under the category "Be-Good-To-Father Dinner", which includes oven-barbecued steaks, easy broccoli casserole, garlic dill pickles, radishes, pumpernickel bread, and cherry pudding.  Where is the "Be nice to mother" section??  (Maybe it's included in some secret, unpublished "Ways with liquor" section that you have to special order...)

The card on the left (above), with the classy glasses and pale celery contains the recipe for "Pow!" (No that's not the sound of your jaw hitting the floor).  It's beef broth with horseradish and dill, garnished with a celery 'swizzle stick'.  I'm pretty sure my man wouldn't be pleased if I served him that, but maybe I'll try it anyways.

For those who lack basic cooking skills, try this for a new, delightful twist on breakfast cereal:

 

To be honest there are some recipes that sound good.  Most of the food photographs in the book are appallingly bad, and don't look appetizing at all (mostly because of the colors in the photos).  Many of the recipes give suggestions for garnishes - carrot or celery curls, cherry tomatoes and such.  Almost every picture has delightful props or garnishes included...and I'm thinking I need to start doing more of that just to see if Steve notices.

And I'll leave you with these two, which I hope will never, ever grace my kitchen...  A lovely chicken jello dish and a recipe for hotdog soup for BREAKFAST.